为什么女性的友善总是被误解
I was once told by a male friend that I should "stop leading guys on" just because I was friendly. At first, I felt slightly surprised. What did he mean? I was just being nice—smiling, making conversation, treating people like, you know, human beings. But he was serious. He genuinely believed that my kindness was being misinterpreted, not because of me, but because of how men are wired to see it.
一位男性朋友曾告诫我，别待人太友善，“让男人有错误的想法”。当时我有些错愕，这话从何说起？我只是在展现基本的善意：微笑、交流、把对方当成正常人类来对待。但他一脸严肃，真心认为我的善意被误解了，问题不在于我，而在于男性固有的思维模式。
And that got me thinking. Why do so many men assume a woman is flirting just because she’s friendly, nice and kind?
我不禁开始思考，为什么那么多男性想当然地把女性的友好和友善当作是在释放信号？
The answer is actually simpler than you’d expect:
答案其实出乎意料地简单：
It’s because these men (not all men) would never be kind and nice to a woman they weren’t attracted to.
因为这些男性（并非所有男性）从不会对毫无好感的女性施以温柔。
Let that sink in.
你品，你细品。
If a man is only respectful, warm, and engaging with women he’s interested in, then he assumes women must work the same way. He can’t fathom the idea that a woman is just being kind for the sake of it—because, in his world, kindness towards the opposite sex always has an ulterior motive.
若某个男人只对心仪的女性展现尊重、热情与关注，他自然会推定所有女性都遵循同样的行为逻辑。他无法理解女性纯粹出于善意行事，在他的认知里，对异性的友善必然别有用心。
This is why so many women feel the need to put up emotional walls when interacting with men. Because the moment you show basic human decency, it’s like some men start crafting an imaginary love story in their heads.
正因如此，许多女性在与男性交往时不得不筑起心墙。因为你只要展现出基本的教养，某些男人就能在脑内编织出整部爱情故事。
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